Seen By Hollow Eyes
by GuitarGal20
Summary: When I step off the ledge, I know why he could never be content with someone like me. To feel this experience of flying, it is like nothing else, nothing you could ever describe. It would never compare to anything put in words. T for angst


**A/N: I personally am not an Eggy fan, but seeing as how taylorbear, the person I am writing this for (and my BFFL) is, I can not deviate towards Niggy. Hope this is good! **

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own Maximum Ride. If I did, I wouldn't have messed up the last few books so badly by adding Dylan (side note: now that Dylan's here, I like him, but I would have been MUCH happier if it had stayed as Fax, and Fang wouldn't have left)**

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><p>The tears flowed down my cheeks softly, creating streaks in my dirt smeared face. I was done, it was over, there was no point to go on. He could never love me now, not after all I had put him through. The sun beat down on my face, and the tears turned slowly into only sticky lines. I had been walking for hours, the desert stretching on forever in all directions, making me feel like I was walking on a treadmill. Only the slight change in the position of the sun told me that time was still passing. I wouldn't care anyway. There was nothing left of my heart. That I had given to him the first time his unseeing eyes met mine.<p>

In the depths of my heart I knew it would never work. Our worlds ran parallel. I was close enough to see him, but we never crossed. It was torture, to see but never touch; he was beautiful, I could watch him soar, but never truly understand. He lived in total darkness, while I craved the light of his hair, his eyes. He lived off the noise, when all I could hear was the silence of the night he flew freely through. And he lived in the skies, while my feat could never leave the ground. He was strong and caring, I was weak and senseless. I knew it could never work, but yet I could not let it go.

Then by some beautifully torturous twist of fate, he saw, he noticed, he cared. For two month, I was in heaven. For two months, I was complete. He was mine, and the world was set back on its axis. For once, I felt like maybe, maybe things wouldn't be so bad. Maybe I could make it through this somehow, because he noticed, and he was there. There was still a voice, an ever quiet voice in the back of my mind, reminding me that it was impossible. But for a little while, I could push the voice to the back, because I was blinded by my love, seeing through rose colored glasses.

One day in the midst of my heaven, I went to school, and came home … robotic. There was no other way to describe it. All that consumed my mind was changing the world, to get rid of the weak. I was a prisoner in my own mind, held captive by the inception of a thought that I knew somewhere in the dark caverns of my head would destroy me. It was painful, that little piece of me that knew this was all wrong. I couldn't change it, I couldn't stop it. And suddenly, he joined me, and that was almost too painful to bear. But like I said, I was a prisoner, I couldn't change any of it. It was torture.

My days passed through in a blur. I was so weak, almost too weak to keep grasping on to the one sane part of me. I can barely remember now what happened. It was like looking at the world through a piece of thick gauze. I couldn't see, only respond. That was painful too, feeling my body be ripped from my control, feeling my own body be taken out of my grasp, and I almost lost myself again. Then I remembered him, as if an old, fuzzy, black-and-white movie was showing me a reality I once knew. I could hold on, I could keep going.

All I felt next was pain. Excruciating, mind numbing, heart wrenching pain. Liked my head was being ripped out of my soul. My throat was hoarse from the screams that penetrated the air. The gauze began to lift, and I could feel water running down my face, and a hand in mine. That hand, I remembered it, and more of the pain went away. I realized I could open my eyes, and when I did, I saw him again, and all of the pain vanished. I was free. I squeezed the hand slightly, and his pale eyes shot to where he knew my face lay. And that is when I knew I could never be with him. I had been the one to destroy him, I had been the one to make him as weak as I was. I knew I could not do that to him ever again. Still I plastered a smile on my face, knowing that he could sense if it was there or not, and acted happy to see all of them. He was too good to let me go if he knew what I was planning to do. I couldn't let him know.

That brings me to where I am now, walking through my desert of endless grief. I know that this is what I have to do. He will move on, I know he will, because he was always the strong one. I know that I wouldn't be able to watch him grow tired of me, and know that I wasn't what he wanted. I know, because I was always the weak one. So as I find what I was looking for, I don't reflect on the life I'm leaving, but instead the freedom I am giving him.

When I step off the ledge, I know why he could never be content with someone like me. To feel this experience of flying, it is like nothing else, nothing you could ever describe. It would never compare to anything put in words.

I feel strong arms wrap around me. I know I must be dead, because they feel as good as his arms. I turn my eyes up towards the being carrying me, and I know I must be gone, because he looks as angelic as ever, with the bright sunlight streaming through the feathers of his wings.

We come to a stop, and he sets me down on the hot ground. I pinch myself, and am surprised to find it still hurts. Is it possible that this could be real? One sentence is all I need to know that it will all be okay. This one sentenced, matched with the sincerity in his pale eyes.

"Ella, I need you, you are what makes me strong."

With that sentence, I fall sobbing into his warm embrace, and know that he really sees me, and that is what will make everything okay.

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><p><strong>AN: Not quite happy with the ending, but let me know what you guys think!**


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